Hi Guys: Not sure how to start,

[Rebecca]

Again, been out of touch for a bit. Have been working on my relationship with my partner of almost 5 years. We have it mostly figured out and are going better than ever - then all of a sudden his youngest son (15 years old) dies on May 5th. It still does not seem real but judging by the fact that not only did I see him in the hospital (my brain tells me he was just sleeping) but that I don't hear him walking around the house, arguing with his dad or anything that resembles him - he is gone.When will it finally feel real? I don't know.

My kids and I moved out last fall to alleviate the strain on the family with 5 teenagers living in the same house. We thought is would be enough to help this one come back to some form of normalcy. Some of you don't know that his mother was killed by a head on car crash back in 2004 - not her fault. But I don't feel he ever got over it. Now, we are living in 2 separate places and that still did not work.

We don't know where to go from here. Taking it a day at a time. It just does not seem like we will ever really know why....he chose to end his life.

So if you see me only in here sporadically please don't think for a minute the Cafe' is not on my mind - I intend to be back here full force one day soon. I love this place and enjoy the people here.

Make sure you tell the people you love how you feel. Make sure they understand - Sometimes it can be too late.

Rebecca

[Gabbriella]

Rebecca you are in my prayers. I can partially relate to the situation. My son had an addiction to perscription pain killers & not wanting to end his life in the last year and a half there were numerous times spent in the ER near death. If his friend had not found him one of those times I would not have him now. I can only imagine the pain not having him here. My heart cries for you. Please know people care.

[omshanti]

Rebecca,

I'm praying for you and your family -- so sorry for your loss. Words feel inadequate but I'm doing the best I can. :/

Kate

[Brenda - Split Rock Ranch]

Rebecca,

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this extremely difficult and achingly sad time in your lives.

Brenda
Split Rock Ranch

[BrendaLea Abbott]

I am so sorry Rebeca for the loss you and your family have suffered. I will pray for you all that you will be able to deal with the pain of this loss. Hugs,

BrendaLea

[Jill]

So sorry for you and the family Rebecca. What a terrible loss and shock for you all. Things must be so hard for you right now and I guess all you can do is just try to take things one day at a time.

I'm so sorry. Do write off list if it would help at all. I'm not sure anything I say can help at all but I will be thinking of you and wishing you all well.

Take Care
Jill