My latest cards and The Pet Shop Boys

[Mandy Lawrence]

Has been a bit of manicky weekend for me. I can tell when I am manic now (it has taken years to suss it) because I get a buzzy head. Like a constant pulsating that won't go away. With that a level of energy that demands using up. Not in any particular direction but it is there (like the head) buzzing around inside me, needing to be burnt.

I try to focus best as I can, because otherwise it can get chaotic and, if I don't try and keep the control, I can start getting the wanderlust and head off (anywhere, nowhere special). It might sound exciting and it is, at first, but when I start to come down the panic sets in. I find myself in places that are new and without the bravado that mania brings, I get scared. So, I have put alot of energy into making cards this weekend and have made loads (see slide below)

I have also been hit by the Pet Shop Boys bug. I love them. They are candy pop with an edge. They play to the uppy side of my nature whilst sometimes doing something really deep that I can also relate to. Anyway, am rambling and in this frame of mind could ramble for hours so will hunt out another PSB video to share here.

[Mandy Lawrence]

Thanks Jill. I keep looking out for local craft fairs (to sell my wares at) but there are none advertised. I wonder if it is the recession? Still, am not letting that get me down. The cards will keep. I am waiting for my next lot of DLA so I can buy a small revolving display stand. Then I will be good to go (not sure where though Ha! Ha!).

When I was younger I used to like being manic because I had plenty of energy to go with the highs and it seemed more fun then. Now, and thankfully I can read the signs, the thought doing some of things I used to do scares me. I am too old and there are too many dangers. For example I used to roam around in the middle of the night (with no sense of fear). It is a shame that people can't do that really...because the sense of freedom was something else. I know the media sells 'scaremongering' but it is dangerous for a woman to be out on her own, late at night.

Perhaps the migraines are linked to mania. It does seem that when I am getting high it triggers an attack although they often come for no apparent reason. I just wish they would go away.

I never thought that I was being sent messages or that I had super powers, although I did have a sense that I was indestructable. Living on a higher plain. I don't get that anymore. Sometimes I heard singing..when there wasn't any there. I quite liked that and would join in.

Bipolar isn't all bad but sometimes the drive and forcefulness takes over and that can be dangerous. The downers are the pits but anyone who suffers bipolar will know that too well.

Anyway, thanks for commenting and am glad you no longer suffer the extremes.

[Jill]

Hi Mandy

The cards you made are looking good. Didn't really think much of the Pet Shop Boys when they were first out but these days they have grown on me quite a lot.

I know what you mean about being manic can start off fun and exciting and then get scary and out of control if your not careful. Trouble is once it got out of control I didn't even know anything was wrong with me and used to think everyone else had the problems. It's only looking back afterwards I could see I had been living in a mad manic dream or later nightmare world. And no the flickering street lights were not really sending me messages for example. Or were they?!

Anyway I hope you enjoy your evening and don't let the manicyness get on top of you.

Bye for Now
Jill